How to Go to a Queer Event Alone (and Actually Enjoy It)
Going to a queer event alone can feel equal parts brave, awkward, and intimidating—especially if it’s a singles mixer, dance party, or social night where it seems like everyone already knows someone. The good news? Showing up solo is not only normal in queer spaces—it’s often the best way to actually connect.
This guide is designed to be practical and confidence-boosting—whether you’re newly out, new to a city, or just tired of waiting for friends to commit. Bookmark it, share it, and come back before your next event.
Why Going Alone to Queer Events Is Normal (Especially in Austin)
Many queer folks attend events solo because:
They’re recent transplants to the city
Their friends are partnered / not queer / not into events
They want to meet people outside their existing circle
They recently came out
They’re just coming back onto the dating scene
They’re tired of apps and craving in-person connection
That means many attendees arrive solo, even if it doesn’t look that way at first glance. Most of the groups you see are formed at the event—not before it.
Before the Event: Set Yourself Up for Success
1. Choose the Right Type of Event
Not all queer events are created equal. If you’re going alone, look for:
Singles mixers or explicitly social events
Hosted nights with icebreakers or activities
Events with clear structure (name tags, games, prompts)
Sapphic parties with a designated singles mingle area
Promoters that focus on inclusivity, especially for solo queers
💡 Tip: Events that advertise “come solo”, “newcomer-friendly”, or “hosted activities” are ideal if you’re nervous.
2. Wear Something That Feels Like You
Forget dressing to impress. Dress to feel:
Comfortable standing or moving
Confident enough to make eye contact
Like yourself, not a costume
A jacket, pin, or bold accessory can double as an easy conversation starter. You don’t need to be flashy—you need to feel grounded.
3. Set One Simple Goal
Avoid pressure like “I need to meet someone hot.”
Instead, choose one achievable goal:
Talk to 3 new people
Stay for 60 minutes
Participate in one activity
Exchange one Instagram
Anything beyond that is extra.
At the Event: How to Actually Enjoy Yourself
4. Arrive Early (Yes, Really)
The first 20–30 minutes are gold because:
People aren’t settled into groups yet
Other early arrivals are often solo
People are more open to conversation
Hosts are more available
Walking into a packed room cold is harder than easing in early.
5. Use the Event Itself as the Icebreaker
You don’t need a pickup line. Try:
“Is this your first time at one of these?”
“How did you hear about this event?”
“Have you done this activity before?”
If there are:
Icebreaker games → play them
Conversation cards → use them
A DJ or theme → comment on it
Shared context does half the work for you.
6. When Anxiety Hits, Move Your Body
If you feel awkward or stuck:
Grab water or a drink
Step outside for air
Move to a different part of the room
Dance for one song, even badly
Motion interrupts anxiety spirals.
Mindset Shifts That Make Everything Easier
7. Standing Alone ≠ Failing
Standing alone often signals:
You’re open to being approached
You’re not locked into a group
You’re observing, not awkward
Most people are too busy managing their own nerves to judge you.
After the Event: Make It Count
8. Follow Up (Even Casually)
If you exchanged:
Instagram → react to a story later
Numbers → send a short “Nice meeting you!”
Nothing → still celebrate showing up
Connection doesn’t have to be instant to be real. Follow the event page to keep connecting—photos, comments, and that final missed-connections post all live there.
9. Redefine Success
Success might look like:
Feeling less scared than last time
Staying longer than expected
Realizing the room wasn’t as intimidating as you imagined
Confidence builds through repetition, not perfection.
Why Queer Singles Mixers Are Ideal for Going Alone
Unlike bars or clubs, queer singles mixers:
Expect solo attendees
Are intentionally social
Curated for connection
Include structured mingling
Reduce dating-app pressure
If you’ve ever thought “I’ll go once I have someone to go with”—that’s exactly why you should go alone.
Ready to Try It IRL?
If you’re local to Austin (or visiting), our upcoming queer women & sapphic singles events are:
Designed for people coming alone
Hosted with guided icebreakers
Inclusive, low-pressure, and welcoming
✨ Bookmark this guide, share it with a friend, and when you’re ready—come as you are. Showing up solo might be the most powerful move you make this year.
